It ain’t inspiring. Or calming.
The list grows and contracts, grows and contracts, seemingly at the whims of whatever is deemed trendy at the moment, or the most on-point for an ever-changing target.
The 2016 Philadelphia Eagles Coaching Search … ugh, football gods, please help us.
As a means to get the jump on other sinking ships in need of new captains, owner Jeffrey Lurie pushed Chip Kelly off the plank a week ago yesterday. He called the “extra six days” that early firing – er, relieving of duties, excuse me – yielded as crucial to getting the right guy at the helm to direct the organization into the future, or some other claptrap along those lines.
Honestly, right now, after some of the info that has leaked out since, it seems the main thing on the agenda is getting all things squared away for the club’s next Christmas party.
Priorities, people. C’mon …
Not for nothing, but the candidates being mentioned, suggested or pitched to be the next head coach ain’t exactly lighting any fires here, in defiance or delirium. They’re all familiar and yet faceless at the same time.
The diamonds in the rough.
The complete no-names.
Oh, and, of course, for our forever can’t-let-go-of-the-past society, the retreads, which come in all shapes and sizes and situations, from an individual such as Tom Coughlin finally stepping away this week from the championships he won in North Jersey with the Giants and the carnage he left there to a human tape loop of clichés mixed with inconsequential coach-speak jargon such as Jon Gruden continually deemed as a “genius” no matter how pedestrian his verbiage really happens to be.
Makes me wonder, why did the Eagles fire Kelly again?
Seriously, if you step back, shuffle the deck here and play the cards fair and square, not one is better than the one discarded last week by Lurie – and, just a reminder here, yours truly cannot stand Kelly, and thought the hype that has followed him the last 7-8 years has been positively insane.
His resumé, though, stacks up favorably with any belonging to those that the Lurie-Howie Roseman-Tom Donahoe braintrust is considering as his replacement … and that’s with including the mess he created in 2015.
Coughlin and Sean Payton are the biggest, if not best, options apparently available, the latter with stipulations set by his current club, New Orleans. But, really, how good are they? Yeah, both belong to the fraternity of Super Bowl-winning coaches. Coughlin’s New York Giants teams also missed the playoffs in six of the last seven seasons while Payton is fresh off back-to-back 7-9 campaigns.
Keep in mind, too, that each has worked with a Hall of Fame-caliber quarterback during their entire head-coaching tenures with the Giants and Saints, respectively, and, unless the 2016 draft yields one of those talents, neither would have that luxury here. Disrespect to Sam Bradford, Mark Sanchez or any other signal-caller on the Birds’ current or future roster fully intended, they ain’t Eli Manning or Drew Brees. Not even close.
It’s a wonder that Gruden’s name has yet to come up in this search, aside from the fans or experts who always clamor for him to return to the sidelines while disregarding the reality he sucked in Tampa Bay, going just 45-51 in six years after somehow managing to not steer Tony Dungy’s Super Bowl-worthy creation into the drink his first season in 2002.
Of course, maybe those man-crushing on “Chuckie” the coach are on to something. It would get his annoying act out of the TV booth … if Lurie and Co. or some other NFL ownership group could find the right balance between stroking his ego and filling his bank account.
Others? Well, you got the two Mikes, Holmgren and Shanahan, both of whom’s staying power seemed to get stuck in a squat rack sometime around 2007 or so. Add Ditka in there and you got a real special trio.
Adam Gase is the hot name among the offensive coordinators because, according to legend, Peyton Manning once uttered his name in complimentary fashion. Wow. No, seriously, the guy actually turned around Jay Cutler in Chicago. Of course, while everyone else is crediting Gase with that, Cutler went a different route, stating how it was couple’s counseling that sparked his career year. Go figure.
Fellow OCs Hue Jackson, Josh McDaniels and Doug Marrone are former head coaches who had limited opportunities to prove themselves, either by others’ choices or their own. Someone pinch me.
Former Eagles defensive coordinator and Philly-area native Sean McDermott committed the cardinal sin in the eyes of corporate world, an abysmal conglomeration of non-thought to which Lurie belongs despite his wanting a coach with the “ability to communicate” BS, by stating his interest in the job. In public, no less. Oh, the humanity.
You can file his name in the same pile as first interview Duce Staley, current Eagles assistant and constant Kelly excuse use, at this point after that.
At least current Eagles OC Pat Shurmur is an option.
Kidding aside, it will just be such a relief once Andy Reid Jr., aka Doug Pederson, is in place as head coach with the newly franchised Bradford all set to run his show.
Will seem just like old times. Ahhhh ...
- Jack Kerwin | firstname.lastname@example.org
Makes me wonder, why did the Eagles fire Kelly again? ... Seriously, if you step back, shuffle the deck and play the cards straight and fair, not one is better than the one discarded last week by Lurie.